A woman stood in line with her son to speak to Nasrudin
when he was a magistrate.
‘This youth,’ she said, ‘eats too much sugar. I cannot afford to keep him in it. Therefore I ask you formally to forbid him to eat it, as he will not obey me.’ Nasrudin told her to come back in 7 days.
When she returned, he postponed his decision for yet another week.
This frustrated the woman, they had been waiting a long time.
Upon speaking to him after another 7 days, he then spoke to the boy and said, ‘Now, I forbid you to eat more than such and such
a quantity of sugar every day.’
The woman subsequently asked him why so much time had been
necessary before a simple order could be given.
‘Because, madam, I had to see whether I myself could cut down on the use
of sugar, before ordering anyone else to do it.’
This anecdote makes me smile. As parents, my husband and I try to follow this philosophy; it is very complicated to ask your child to do something or adapt a particular behavior if you yourself have not.
I feel similar regarding the topic I chose to write about.
Can I talk about getting good sleep if I still struggle with that?
There is potential I do not need to go into detail regarding delta brain waves, how and when they happen and why you need this deep sleep. I am no expert, that's for sure. I am self educated~ meaning I read, listen to and consume information that is helpful for us humans.
At the end of this blog regarding my personal experience, I share my favorite source for Why and How to Get Good Sleep
Up until now I have talked about the past decade of my life. Which has been becoming a new wife and Mother, helping my Mother with her rehabilitation, and supporting my husband as he embarked upon running his own Renovations/Home Remodeling company. I met Omar and his family in 2008 and was introduced to Homeopathy and natural healing. Prior to that I had been being guided and lead to a natural lifestyle. I didn't dye my hair. I did not use Pharmaceuticals and rarely used things like Tylenol, Excedrin or Advil. (There was a short time frame from the mid 1990's to about 2002 where I DID use Excedrin to ward off ruthless headaches) I ate well. I exercised regularly. I have been a very positive thinking person, too. However, I was like every young person becoming an adult, questing to find what works for them, unaware of how much the world has influenced that process. I knew a lot, but as typical, there is always a plethora more to learn. Especially when it comes to Health and Wellness. I was raised in a Christian household that focused on mind and soul health along with the basic 'eat vegetables every day' healthy lifestyle. No candy. No desserts on a regular basis. I think I was about 10 when we started having cookies in our house a few times per month. My brother once joked when my Mom bought brown coffee filters, "What? Even the coffee filters are wheat?!" My Mom had stopped buying anything with white flour. We said Goodbye to our Italian bread loaf that I loved toasting lightly and spreading butter on and eating for satisfaction. (ooo, that is a tempting thought) The topic at hand isn't about what foods I'm eating, the exercise I'm getting (or not) or how positive a thinker I am. Those are all great things to consider for yourself and I encourage you to do so. Being a healthy person does require a strong mind set. You have to research, ask questions, and most importantly be open to trying a new routine.
In the early 2000's, the turn of the century, I was in my early 20's. I worked as much as I could, took a few classes at my local Community College and tried to make my way into the music business. For those of you who've ever attempted a similar venture you can attest for the amount of time and energy you give with no viable return; meaning working for free.
I auditioned for local theatrical shows and helped with set building/creating, costume finding/making, as well as acting, singing and dancing. Community Theatre is mostly volunteers giving their time, energy and talent for the love and passion of the art. Well, I REALLY loved the art of singing. I sang my first solo at 6 in a large church, I was a member of the choir there for 8 years. I was in bell choir, I sang with a choral group based out of Annapolis and I was in any and every stage play in Queen Anne's County I could get to. Why am I telling you all of this? I was extremely busy every day of the week during the typical business hours as a child. As a teen I started filling my schedule up so much that it leaked into my sleep time and by the time I was in my early 20's I was working every day in an office job AND working into the night on my dream. Which was at the time, to make money singing. I was leaving for work at 8:00a to work until 6p and head home to then leave by 7p to arrive at a performance job by 8p for sound check and start the show at 9p. When I was singing with a top 40 cover band, we would sometimes be asked to play music until 1:30a. Then there was tear down of equipment, getting paid and driving home. My drive was at least 50 min to an hour which often times had me home at 3a. To then need to shower because at that time, before 2008 in the U.S, there was smoking in bars, the typical venue our band played and my hair was so stinky I couldn't sleep unless I washed it. During those few years that I was super pushing the dream I was getting about 3 hours of sleep. In looking back I can see how I was effected much better than I could at the time. But alas, at some point, the straw broke the camels back and I HAD to focus on getting BETTER SLEEP!
In those days I was all about go-go-go and slowing down to drink enough water, eat properly and exercise regularly was difficult. I knew I wanted to keep up the "chase the dream" pace, but I had to make sacrifices whenever I could to get to sleep earlier or I had to say no to extra jobs. My throat was my biggest commodity then and I had to take care of me. I had gotten sleep deprivation from all of the years of pushing; pursuing career, creativity and making money to support myself. I felt EXHAUSTED!
"I was in for the awakening of my LIFE"
I will avoid getting off topic too much, but one of the biggest lessons I have learned in life is this: just because you learned something once doesn't mean you won't have to learn it again, differently. I knew I was experiencing sleep deprivation at some level. I was having a difficult time at work staying energetic enough to do my tasks and then push through to the 2nd job. I was sleep deprived because I was falling asleep driving home during the early hours of the day. Literally hitting rumble strips and being so grateful for them. I began making it a priority and within a short time I was feeling much better. I was still not getting the full 8 hours suggested, but 6 to 7 compounded makes an extreme difference when 3 to 4 was the average.
Fast forward to February of 2009. Freedom was discharged from the AAMC on Dec 23, 2008. Omar had saved up vacation time and scheduled to take it when Freedom was able to come home. The challenges that a premature, colicky baby bring are in and of themselves much to adjust to, outside of the adjustment to nursing. I was nursing, and this is no exaggeration, ALL THE TIME. I know being a first time Mother is arduous and takes its toll on every aspect of a woman. If you had your first baby and you had zero challenge and it was all beauty and sunshine, there were most likely other obstacles happening in your life. I have seen God give people exactly what they need to grow in their own character. For me, adjusting to my new life was a huge task. I was used to the stay-up-late, push and go lifestyle. The energy it took wasn't necessarily difficult to create, but the shift from -I am pursuing me and what I think God is calling me towards (singing!) to -I am home in sweat pants, a t-shirt and a fussy baby in my arms almost every minute of the day. Colic was the instigator for Freedom's disgruntled disposition that had him crying many hours of the day and night. My life became figuring out how to care for him and give him what he needs so that he can sleep so that WE CAN SLEEP!
We were getting 4 to 5 hours of very broken up sleep. As early as Feb. 2009 we were experiencing sleep deprivation. But as new parents and relatively new in our marriage, we had so many other issues to handle; this was something we couldn't seem to resolve. A vicious cycle of one thing hingent upon another. Us getting better sleep would almost surely assist us with the many hurdles we were jumping. And the fact that lack of deep sleep in the delta wave state produces high blood pressure, dysregulating hunger hormones, blood sugar, (plus a lot more! as I have listed below) and stress, it is no surprise everything else strenuous became even more complex, wearisome and problematic.
In Feb of 2009 I had this idea that if I got up out of bed during the night and sat up to nurse Freedom, than I would be able to stay awake to keep him awake to fully nurse so that he would have a full belly and be able to fall into a deep sleep and therefore we could too. Not too far-fetched, right? This attempt was futile, but I wanted to keep trying. It seemed like such a great solution.
The very last time I did that was because one night after trying this for a few weeks I woke up, very slowly and feeling severe pain in my head and neck and upper body. I realized in my grog what the problem was. I had been sitting upright, Freedom nursing, in our rocking chair and fell asleep. In doing so, my upper body had fallen over to the left so completely that my head was hanging past the arm rest. I couldn't move. I had to find strength in my right arm, move it and lift my own head up. As I did that very slowly, I began to feel relief. In that exact moment I decided I would never do that again. I relinquished and nursed him in our bed. The idea of having him nurse to get full was not proving to keep him in a deep sleep and he was, quite frankly, an aggravated baby. Omar helped out as much as he could. He needed sleep to be able to work to support us. He helped until midnight and then I took midnight to 6a. He helped from 6 to 7a and then left for work to return by 5p to help me again until midnight. Yes, there were some golden moments where Freedom wasn't crying and didn't need to be held. Thank God! But the first year of his life was mostly me nursing him, one of us holding/bouncing/pacing with him (to keep him calm) or him screaming at us no matter what we try.
Omar and I argued. We became frustrated with life. Almost depressed.
We even mentioned the "D" word.
That was the straw.
I wish I could say the road to recovery was swift and easy.
It was not.
We didn't begin getting more and better sleep until a year after I was sleeping hunched over in my rocking chair that night. Freedom and his health began to improve and that is HOW we were able to prioritize sleep and get more of it. I had 3 more pregnancies, newborn babies to nurse and toddlers to care for. No other baby gave us the sleep deprivation we experienced with our first born. In hind sight I can see that. Upon going into another round with a new baby I had to resist thinking doubtful thoughts regarding sleep and exhaustion. Alongside Motherhood and marriage I was also managing my Mother's health condition. Her accidental stroke, coma, and recuperation from Hematoma in 2010 became my responsibility. (I will write about that subject in the near future.)
In the end, it was our awareness of the fact that we were sleep deprived that saved us. We learned about how it happens and the effects it has. We were then able to behave more consciously, albeit being tired. Again, a work in progress. (The Lord my God has shown me time and again that that is who I am. His great work in progress)
Omar and I still love to stay up late. (stemming from those Musician days!) We have to sacrifice an early rise in order to do that and we LOVE to awaken early just as much. We commit to getting at least 6 hours of sleep. Of course being parents of 4 boys has some nights of the year being very challenging~ handling sicknesses, poison ivy, spider bites, bad dreams and much more. But since we've overcome the most sleep depriving time in our lives (we think), these rare moments don't drag us down.
Here's a list of how Sleep Deprivation can effect you
Weakens your immune system, accelerates tumor growth, accelerates diabetes and impairs all aspects of your cognition; lack of sleep can increase your risk of dying from all causes
Slows your reaction time, increasing your risk of accidents
Impacts your ability to think clearly the next day
Impairs memory and reduces ability to learn new things
Reduces ability to perform tasks
Increases risk of neurological problems, ranging from depression to dementia and Alzheimer's disease
Impairs regulation of emotions and emotional perception
Increased risk of depression and anxiety
We have spent most of our screen time, as I affectionately call it, consuming healthy input. From podcasts about the brain, outer space, diet, sleep, finances, raising a family, and ice baths! ~and the list goes on. I have heard some great people give amazing advice.
A few of the most potent pieces of information that I found is this:
1. A regular meditative practice in your schedule
2. Getting off of any and all screens 1 hour before sleep time
3. Be hydrated ~drink water all day!
As healthy as I am and as much water as I DO drink, I know I live many days without consuming enough to maintain hydration. Thus, I continue my pursuit
to be the healthiest me!
There are numerous articles, books and blogs written on the topic of sleep and it's importance to us living our best life. I do not have any book suggestions, but I do appreciate Dr. Mercola and his knowledge and perspectives on health and wellness. I have listed some solutions I found in an article he wrote on Sleep. He gives more details and instructions at the link below.
Maintaining a natural rhythm of exposure to daylight, and darkness at night, is an essential component of sleeping well
On the opposite end, you need to avoid bright artificial lighting after sunset, as light will impair your melatonin production
Sleep in complete darkness, or as close to it as possible
Keep the temperature in your bedroom no higher than 70 degrees F
Eliminate electric and electromagnetic fields (EMFs) in your bedroom
Adopt a neutral sleeping position
Establish a relaxing bedtime routine
Avoid drinking fluids within two hours of going to bed & go to the bathroom right before bed
Avoid eating at least three hours before bedtime, particularly grains and sugars
Do some controlled breathing exercises
Avoid watching TV right before bed *the NO SCREENS rule
Read something spiritual or uplifting
Thank you for reading!
Up Coming Blog:
imagine Excellence Blog #12 ~Elderberry for Sore Throat
much Love ~Peace & Blessings
Bonus Material:
Straight from Dr. Mercola's article
My current favorite fix for insomnia is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) — Most people can learn the basics of this gentle tapping technique in a few minutes. EFT can help balance your body's bioenergy system and resolve some of the emotional stresses that are contributing to your insomnia at a very deep level. The results are typically long lasting and improvement is remarkably rapid.
My husband and I learned about this technique through hours of listening to and studying alternative ways to heal ourselves. I am a firm believer in Christ and His healing. I also believe He leads us, divinely, to that which is healing for us. I am a more open Christian and have found that to work for me. I encourage you to look into EFT. I use it in my morning routine for myself and as a part of our Home school curriculum for our growing boys.
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